Depression and sadness often occur when we accept the loss of our “friend.” This is particularly true when no one else seems to know our loss.
People often experience this in one of two ways:
1. A deep sense of sadness, or
2. A deep sense of deprivation You’ll realize you’re in the depression stage if you’re thinking:
3. “I feel so emotional.”
4. “I feel so deprived.”
5. “Why can’t I have this one little habit?”
6. “Life without cigarettes is awful.”
7. “I feel so lonely.”
Some might call this the “ain’t it awful” stage. You feel as though you’ve lost a good friend. Well, you have. As with any loss, you need to take this in. Then, when you move on, you can recognize what holes you have to fill, needs you have to meet in new ways.
Don’t resist this stage or think it’s crazy to mourn the loss of a cigarette. Take some time and give yourself the right just to feel sad.
Anger often surfaces when we begin to accept a loss. Most smokers are angry about having to make a change in their lives. They feel their “friend” was taken away unfairly. They’re angry because they feel singled out. Some typical angry thoughts people have may be:
* “Why me? I’m mad I started and mad I had to quit.”
* “Why didn’t someone tell us cigarettes are so harmful?”
* “Lucky nonsmokers. They have it easy.”
* “Why does it have to be so hard to quit?”
* “What about people who are overweight? I don’t see everyone getting on their case.”
Notice that each of the statements of resentment contains a sense of having been hurt, treated unfairly, or forced to do something really hard but without others helping very much.
All of these feelings are understandable. Smokers do have a tough job that others don’t have. Nobody is able to give them as much help as they might want – others don’t have the ability to fix it for you.
It may be hard to admit, but if you can acknowledge feeling hurt and recognize that your hurt is justified, you’ll be easier on yourself. And talking with your friends or family about feeling bad about giving up smoking, rather than biting their heads off, is likely to get you more useful encouragement.
First, say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do. Health Service Food and Human Resources: Wholesale cigarettes online