Sometimes it’s okay to be proud…
On Saturday it was exactly six months since I had my last cigarette.
Quit1Now just so you know, I was quite big on smoking for more than 10 years. I enjoyed cigarettes rather a lot, but mostly they were just part of who I was. Before I quit I wasn’t entirely sure how it would be possible for me to get through life without cigarettes (the irony isn’t lost on me). That’s what concerned me the most actually; the hold that smoking had on me was so strong I was scared of quitting because I couldn’t imagine not looking forward to my next cigarette.
Long story short, I got up on the morning of Sunday January 18 this year, smoked the last cigarette in the packet I had, and I have just not had one since. That’s not to say it was easy, no way. Smoking was practically one of my defining characteristics and the going was pretty tough without my little tobacco friends, but here I am six months on and still smokefree. Hurrah.
Sigh. I’ll be perfectly honest with you, I still miss it sometimes. I mean, I really loved smoking. Cigarettes kept me company when I was waiting to be picked up, they calmed my nerves when I was anxious or frustrated, they introduced me to many good people on smoking decks, and for some reason I couldn’t cry and smoke at the same time so they acted as a tear-suppressant (weird?)
I’m not sure why I suddenly decided that on January 18th I was going to stop. I had been thinking about quitting for a few weeks leading up to that date, but I’d often thought about (and tried) to quit before so I don’t know why this time was different. Looking back, it’s like something clicks when you finally decide to quit for good – your resolve gets rock solid, and you know you won’t fall back into the habit 4 REAL.
It’s just a bummer that no one else believes you.
I was pretty sure when I stubbed that last cigarette out I wouldn’t be going near another one again, but not many people in my life were so confident – fair play though, I mean why would they be? My previous quit-attempts had lasted various periods ranging from three hours to three weeks. My family were very enthusiastic but also worried it wouldn’t last, I think they didn’t want to get their hopes up. Joel put no pressure on me whatsoever but was obviously very supportive (and even ended up quitting the next day too).
Of course I’m grateful for the support of my friends, family, and Joel, but there was one person who really saw me through the quitting process. An ex-smoker herself, my friend Hayley inspired and encouraged me, and most of all she totally believed this was it, this was the time I’d quit for good. That’s what I needed, someone who didn’t just think I could quit smoking, but who thought I had quit smoking (thank you Hayley. I still love you even though you have jetted off to Europe without me).
So you get the idea, right? Giving up smoking wasn’t as hard as I though it would be, but it was still very flippin’ hard. I’m incredibly proud of going six months without smoking, and even though I’ve put on about 5kg since I quit, I can’t think of a better excuse for the new squishy bits (except maybe getting pregnant, but that’s way easier than quitting smoking).
Please know I’m not trying to preach at you if you’re a smoker, trust me I GET IT. This is just something that I’m proud of myself for achieving. I know it’s all a bit touchy-feely, but we need that sort of crap during a recession, otherwise we’d spend all days crying into our porridge/two-minute noodles/cabbage soup and wondering if we’ll ever be able to afford a manicure again. So let’s keep the goodness flowing and pat each other on the back; tell me, what have you done in your life that you’re really proud of?
PS: if you really want to quit smoking, don’t listen to anyone who tells you it’s too hard or that you can’t do it. You can. Amen.
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